By Alex Bogusky
HEAVEN– In a surprise move, God issued a statement today announcing an immediate recall of His complete book series: The Torah, The Quran and the New Testament, citing misunderstandings and violence of “biblical proportions” brought about by many who have read the books.
In a written release, God stated: “You guys freak me out. I’m almost afraid to issue this press release with the way you tend to twist my words around. However, I am calling for an immediate recall of my complete book series. If you have any of these books please stop using them immediately. The words were meant to bring people together but clearly that is not happening. Do not under any circumstances burn these books, as that will only create more of what I don’t want, including more greenhouse gas emissions. Simply put a sticky note on the cover that says, RECALLED BY GOD. If you have access to a hotel or motel drawer, please put the book in there.”
HEAVEN– In a surprise move, God issued a statement today announcing an immediate recall of His complete book series: The Torah, The Quran and the New Testament, citing misunderstandings and violence of “biblical proportions” brought about by many who have read the books.
In a written release, God stated: “You guys freak me out. I’m almost afraid to issue this press release with the way you tend to twist my words around. However, I am calling for an immediate recall of my complete book series. If you have any of these books please stop using them immediately. The words were meant to bring people together but clearly that is not happening. Do not under any circumstances burn these books, as that will only create more of what I don’t want, including more greenhouse gas emissions. Simply put a sticky note on the cover that says, RECALLED BY GOD. If you have access to a hotel or motel drawer, please put the book in there.”